Six Behaviors that Increase Self-Esteem
By Denis Waitley
"It's not what you are that holds you back, it's what you
think you are not"
Following are six behaviors that increase self-esteem, enhance
your self-confidence, and spur your motivation. You may recognize
some of them as things you naturally do in your interactions with
other people. But if you don't, I suggest you motivate yourself to
take some of these important steps immediately.
First, greet others with a smile and look them directly in the
eye. A smile and direct eye contact convey confidence born of
self-respect. In the same way, answer the phone pleasantly whether
at work or at home, and when placing a call, give your name before
asking to speak to the party you want to reach. Leading with your
name underscores that a person with self-respect is making the
call.
Second, always show real appreciation for a gift or complement.
Don't downplay or sidestep expressions of affection or honor from
others. The ability to accept or receive is a universal mark of an
individual with solid self-esteem.
Third, don't brag. It's almost a paradox that genuine modesty is
actually part of the capacity to gracefully receive compliments.
People who brag about their own exploits or demand special
attention are simply trying to build themselves up in the eyes of
others — and that's because they don't perceive themselves as
already worthy of respect.
Fourth, don't make your problems the centerpiece of your
conversation. Talk positively about your life and the progress
you're trying to make. Be aware of any negative thinking, and take
notice of how often you complain. When you hear yourself criticize
someone — and this includes self-criticism — find a way
to be helpful instead of critical.
Fifth, respond to difficult times or depressing moments by
increasing your level of productive activity. When your self-esteem
is being challenged, don't sit around and fall victim to "paralysis
by analysis." The late Malcolm Forbes said, "Vehicles in motion use
their generators to charge their own batteries. Unless you happen
to be a golf cart, you can't recharge your battery when you're
parked in the garage!"
Sixth, choose to see mistakes and rejections as opportunities to
learn. View a failure as the conclusion of one performance, not the
end of your entire career. Own up to your shortcomings, but refuse
to see yourself as a failure. A failure may be something you have
done — and it may even be something you'll have to do again
on the way to success — but a failure is definitely not
something you are.
Even if you're at a point where you're feeling very negatively
about yourself, be aware that you're now ideally positioned to make
rapid and dramatic improvement. A negative self-evaluation, if it's
honest and insightful, takes much more courage and character than
the self-delusions that underlie arrogance and conceit. I've seen
the truth of this proven many times in my work with athletes. After
an extremely poor performance, a team or an individual athlete
often does much better the next time out, especially when the poor
performance was so bad that there was simply no way to shirk
responsibility for it. Disappointment, defeat, and even apparent
failure are in no way permanent conditions unless we choose to make
them so. On the contrary, these undeniably painful experiences can
be the solid foundation on which to build future success.
Change For Good is here to support you in your efforts to build
healthy self-esteem with our self-hypnosis audiotape and free
report:
Back to Article Index
|
