How To Defuse The Urge To Overeat

"Unless we change direction, we are likely to end up where we are headed." ~ Old Chinese Proverb

Two Great Discoveries

The reason so many of us fail at sustaining weight loss is that we look in the wrong place for a solution. Food, my friends, is not the culprit. I know we would all like it if this were true. Losing weight would be a simple matter. We would just stop eating. But as you know from painful and frustrating experience, it just doesn't work that way.

We cannot ultimately blame our weight condition on overeating, either. Yes, we do put on weight when we overeat but what causes us to eat far beyond our physical needs? Until we find the answer to that question, we will be locked in an unending cycle of gain and loss and gain again.

To discover the answer to this perplexing problem, we must do a little psychological detective work. We have to work backwards from the action of overeating. The following series of questions illustrates my point.

"I am overeating. What is the source of this action?"

"I feel anxious and I am eating to make the anxiety go away."

"What is the source of my feeling (anxiety)?"

"My anxiety is caused by a thought -- 'I am overweight, therefore people will not like me.'"

The sequence of internal events has happened like this: the action (overeating) is caused by a feeling (anxiety), which was caused by a thought (People will not like me). The point here is that we can learn to manage our overeating, if we learn to manage our thinking. Changing our thinking changes how we feel. Fewer difficult feelings mean less overeating.

If this sounds a bit complicated, then take a look at the list of thoughts below. Take a moment and think about how these thoughts affect your feelings and subsequent eating habits.

Fat Thoughts

1. LIFE IS SCARY AND HARD. This is a thought that will affect every area of your existence. If you think this is a true statement of reality, you will probably feel anxious almost all the time. You may also frequently feel overwhelmed and unable to cope with life's demands. Nothing contributes more quickly to binge eating.
2. MY NEEDS ARE NOT IMPORTANT. It is a physical and a psychological fact that everyone has needs. Needs are not like desires or wants. Needs MUST be met. If we neglect them, they will eventually rise up and demand attention by forcing us to overeat.
3. MY FEELINGS ARE NOT IMPORTANT. This thought seems to go hand in hand with being significantly overweight. Almost every individual I have ever met who was 50 or more pounds overweight was a victim of this kind of thinking. The problem with this thought is that it causes you to deny one of the most important aspects of your humanity. You are a feeling machine. Feeling is a basic ingredient of being healthy and alive. To ignore what you feel is as problematic as ignoring your thirst.
4. RELATIONSHIPS ARE SCARY AND HARD. This is obviously like #1 above. How you think about relationships will shape your experience of them. If you think they are impossible, they will tend to be that way. Painful relationships create painful feelings and painful feelings are a big invitation to overeat.
5. ALL THOUGHTS RELATED TO SELF HATE. Thinking negatively about yourself never helps you lose weight. In fact, self-hating thoughts usually contribute to eating habits that cause weight gain. Simply said, "Beating yourself up is not a good idea. It will make you overeat."

I imagine you have already thought of more "fat-thoughts." I suggest you write them down so you are more aware of them. Awareness is key to changing your thinking.

I did not make this list to imply that dealing with these thoughts is easy. Obviously, it isn't. But we have to start somewhere. As the old and wise Chinese proverb states, "A journey of a thousand miles is begun with a single step."

Significant weight loss that is sustained over a lifetime is clearly an immense journey. However, the journey is easier if we pay attention to our thinking and then make our best attempt to change. If you have gotten this far there is hope, and a little hope is all you need to take just one more step. That will make all the difference.

Additional Resources
Weight Control Report
Unleash The Fat Burner Within!
Weight Control Self-Hypnosis CD and Audiotape Series
This series includes: Weight Control I - Look & Feel Your Best
Weight Control II - Make your Body Listen
Weight Control III - Stop Emotional Eating

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