Think of a pink elephant. Funny image. It is easy to picture for just about anyone. Now, stop thinking
of a pink elephant. Try harder to stop thinking about it. It’s not easy to stop thinking about anything.
The mind does not know "don’t" or "stop." It only hears "pink elephants". Pretty soon, all you are
thinking about is pink elephants.
Now, think of a white cloud. It is easy to think of a white cloud. Notice that you are no longer thinking
of a pink elephant. Why? You changed your focus. How did you change your focus? Simply by breaking the
pattern. That is how you can initiate change in your life. Beginning first with understanding your
thoughts and where they are focused (pink elephant). Then, designing a new thought process (white cloud)
and thinking about it. Finally, awakening to the idea that these are just thoughts, and you can exercise
free will anytime you like.
Remember, focusing on what you don’t want or don’t like will only get you more of what you don’t want. I
have had weight loss clients tell me that all they think about is their weight and how heavy they are.
Moments after that thought they are eating a donut or a candy bar. Smokers have explained that they
continuously think about quitting their smoking habit, only to find themselves smoking a few minutes
later. Is the obese client thinking about being fit? Is the smoker thinking about being a non-smoker?
The answer is no. They are dwelling on the reverse of an idea. That simply will not get you what you want…ever.
Imagine you are in a movie theater watching a man being chased by a bad guy. He runs into a room that
has a window. Before the bad guy comes into the room, he escapes out a window and hides on the ledge.
As you watch him, you see how easy it is for him to move on the ledge. It almost seems like he does not
know how high up he is. The bad guy moves to the next room continuing to look for him, and for a moment
he is safe. A moment later a friendly face appears in the same window to help the man on the ledge. He
realizes this is dangerous, and he says "yikes, don’t look down!" What happens? You guessed it, the man
looks down. Now what happens? Fear sets in, and the man clings to the side of the building. Depending on
how high up he is, his fear of heights and the depth of the ledge, the man could literally freeze in his
steps. What is happening? His focus is not on walking to the window. It is solely focused on "down," 25
stories of falling. The more he thinks about "down," the more immobilized he is.
If you were going to get this man back to the window, how would you do it? Would you stand by the window
and tell him how far from the ground he is? Would you tell him that it will really hurt if he falls
(or that it might mean certain death)? Would you tell him not to look down? If you wanted him to come to
the window safely, you stand at the window (inside), and you would put your arm out and say, "walk slowly to
me, keep your eyes on me…", and you would continuously reassure him that everything is fine ( you only
have 5 more steps, that’s it…keep your eyes on me…) you get the idea. The last thing you want to do is
focus reverse of an idea.
The same is true in changing behavior or unwanted habits. You must focus on what you want, not what you
do not want. This is critical in behavior modification.
