Don't be Afraid of Fear

We all know the saying, the only thing to fear is fear itself, but what does that look like on a personal level? The following story may help explain the devastating effects of fear.

For years, Katy's greatest fear was that of hitting a child with her car. As a mother, she couldn't imagine how anyone could live with the agonizing pain of hurting a child in that manner. The horror of that fear was nurtured and fed in her subconscious mind and came to the surface whenever she saw children playing close to a street. Then, one day that horror became a reality. A child suddenly ran out in front of her car. The girl was being chased by her friends and never looked before running out into the street. In a split second, Katy and the girl made eye contact. Then the car slammed into her, hurling her onto the asphalt. For weeks after the accident, Katy relived every detail whenever she closed her eyes, and couldn't believe she had to endure her worst fear.

After having lived through her old worst fear, Katy developed a new worst fear. This one was even more horrible and life shattering, and it became a reality too. She was clearly manifesting her fears, and she began to be afraid of having any fears. We all know that where our thoughts go, our life goes. We can and do manifest whatever we are thinking, either positive or negative. Our 'life glasses' are either half full or half empty, as is our lives. Have you ever given something away and thought, 'I just know as soon as I get rid of this, I'm going to need it'? You can manifest a need for that item just to prove yourself right. Our subconscious minds are very powerful that way.

Caroline Myss, one of my favorite self-help authors, tells us to have dinner with our fears. She says you should sit across the table from your personal fear; look it straight in its dark, shadowy eyes, and ask it what is the worst thing it can do to you? Then tell yourself that you can live through that if you had to. The power fear has over us is that we truly believe we couldn't live through the thing we're afraid of or that we wouldn't be able to cope when terrible things happen. Katy now knows that she can live through some pretty rough things, and now her life is less controlled by fear. While recovering from that second horrible event, one of her counselors gave her a helpful tip for controlling runaway fears.

When you find yourself worrying all the time, designate one hour per day as your worry time. Let's say it's 5PM. Whenever you start to worry, tell yourself, "It's not time to worry about this yet. I worry about this only at 5PM." Then, at 5PM spend some time worrying about it. If you choose a time that is usually busy or hectic, such as 5PM, you'll often find that you forget to worry because you're too busy doing something else. When this happens, you must wait until 5PM the next day to worry. No cheating. You may choose to set an alarm and close your eyes and imagine sitting down with fear. Then, see your fear across from you. Imagine it fading to black and white and then disappearing, or imagine your fear is written on a blackboard and simply erase the words.

This process helps you control your worry instead of it controlling you. Worry is a habit and not a very pleasant or useful one. Once you're able to take back control of your fears, they stop being obstacles in your life, and you won't manifest them into reality. They no longer paralyze you or keep you from attaining your goals. Once you get control of worrying and fear, fill the void with positive self-talk by meditating or listening to self-hypnosis tapes. You don't have to live your life being afraid.